Kay's Dick

250g self-raising flour
250g raisins
125g butter
125g sugar
2-3g salt


Sift the flour and salt together in a mixing bowl. Cut the butter into slices and rub into the flour as though you were making pastry, so that it produces 'breadcrumbs'. Mix in the sugar and the raisins. Mix in water a little at a time to make a soft dough.

Grease some aluminium foil, enough to wrap the dick. Shape the dough into a cylindrical shape, phalloid if you like, and wrap loosely in the foil. Don't wrap it too tight, as the dick will expand during cooking.

Place the wrapped dick in a steamer (or improv one with a huge pan and a metal colander or something else to prop the dick on) and steam it for about 90 minutes. Unwrap, and serve with cream or custard or any other delectable fluids.